Got this while blog-hopping. lol.

1.If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

2.Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

3.By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Some instructions on labels:

1.In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

2.On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

3.On a hotel provided shower cap in a box : FITS ONE HEAD.

4.On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.


qns to ponder :
1.If man evolved from monkeys and apes. . . why do we still have monkeys and apes?

2.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

3.If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

4.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

5.If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

6.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

7.Why did kamikaze piolets wear helmets??

8.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole damn airplane made out of that shit?

9.Would a fly without wings be called a walk?



WIFE WINS LOTTERY:
A woman gets home, screeches her car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

The husband says, "Oh my God! No shit? What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?

The wife yells back, "It doesn't matter, just get the fuck out!

******

Aye shit, i havent do my testimonial yet. :X
And I lost the damn paper.
I hope its ok to type it out. :(