Yay, was actually feeling quite depressed about the whole O level stint but felt happy after seeing huiwen's comment which was a nice compliment :D ok fine, i know i very thick skin. but girls do need compliments once in a while whaaat! :D:D:D

Ok back to the whole GCE hoo ha. I'm having a bad feeling about it, yet I'm not doing anything about it. I know I won't be able to get 13 for my O levels, and I'm quite ok about that. But I know I'd still be sad if I got 18 or something even though I know I put in minimal effort for the Os. I gave my all for prelims because it was my prelims results that is what would see me through my college and not the O's. Ever since I recieved my acceptance letter from Trinity, I lost all the drive to really go and study and feel that importance of this O level cert. I go into every exam hall feeling unprepared and shaky but I'm not doing anything to buck up for other papers even though the previous ones wasnt as good. I'm so geared up and ready to start a new chapter and learning enviroment in Australia that this O level is not hitting me bad. Yes, I do freak out before the paper itself but that's because I know I wont be able to score that I'll just go in and blank out. I don't even know my aim of blogging about this. It's just this feeling of dread that I wont be able to score as well for Os and I'd disappoint my mom and myself but I'm just not doing anything about it. It's like torn between choices. I know I must study, but there's nothing else left to motivate me.

Haiyah, ignore that please. I don't know what I'm saying. Just some pent up frustration that I wanna let out. It's just the competitive me and the lazy, unmotivated me having a battle in my head.

Haha Nurul M just made me happy and high and all smiley by telling me nice happy random stuff about herself :) haha see, sometimes people really don't know the impact they have on others even by the simplest purest gesture :) Like huiwen and her comment as well :)

Some people make your day without knowing it.
That's when the warm fuzzy feeling settles in :)

Much thanks to Nurul M and Huiwen :)

******

History was so-so. Studied china, japan and fall of communism and it all came out. Problem is.. because i studied all 3 so all the details are so sketchy that I only remember the outline of everything. So my answer wasn't detailed at all. And for part b) whr they asked for how the size of the empire caused the defeat of japan, i totally left that whole paragraph blank cos i forgot all details about it and just went out with my alternative factors and conclusion. ha bloody ha. SBQ was ok, had 15mins left for 2 bloody questions. -.- was trying to figure out whether bolshevik was reds or whites so just inferred from other sources. history has always been my killer subject together with science. so screwed up.

oh oh! was sitting beside belle and qiying and opposite nurul m and bling. then suddenly someone whispered behind me "good luck" WTH HAD THE DAMNED SHOCK OF MY LIFE. i'm embarrassed to think of my expression then. :/ then i started laughing then i started tearing. lolololol. i think i was abit too stressed up also. hhahahha.

I cant wait for 6 November. After sizzlers, i'm gonna come home, and pack all my books and worksheets into those black rubbish bags and throw it away. No more worries of "huh what if o level need" and "huh what if next year my teacher want" or "next year still need lah" SCREW IT ALL :D

In the car when my mom came to fetch me with my brother..

mom: so how?

me: huh.. ok lah.. quite sketchy though my answers.. doubt i will do as well like for prelims, which was acty very tyco. somemore everybody like so confident, i bet i'll do badly lah.

bro: aiyah, thats what girls always say one lor. they always say untill like going to fail like that, then all those get A one always them. why you all girls always like that one ah.

HAHAHHAA :D

and in the midst of our conversation..

mom: do (not do, do= what my mom calls me) ah, you know i used to think social studies is studying about society one (social, society? HAHAHA) so i always tell your kor social studied don need study one.

bro: yalah, my social studies, history and literature teacher all hate me like mad one. cos i always fail. hahaha.

my bro's damn strong in his math and science so he always hated humanities. lolollol.

If everybody likes you so much,
I wonder why you're of such abhorrence to me.
Hmmm.
Guess it's just me.

I can't wait to see you :)