Saturday, September 27, 2008

And so I booked my flight home.

But this trip back is purely for family because I realise for the past 3 times I went home, I didn't spend much (or even any) quality time at all with my family. My mom was busy working, I was busy meeting friends and everything was just so neglected.

When I told Andrea I booked my flight home, she told me she expected it to happen. When I told my housemate I'm going home, she said she had a feeling I was going to cos I was too cool and calm when I said I didnt miss my family at the start of holidays.

It all made me feel quite loserish cos I was the one proclaiming how dumb it would be if I keep going home every holiday, it's like I'm not even here at all to study, like keep going back like that. And now I have to eat my own words. Yeah, it kind of sucks. But it got me thinking on how throughout this year I keep giving up on things I say I would accomplish, giving up on things I say I would achieve, giving up on things I say I would make as a routine.

It's like ever since I came here, I lost my discipline, lost that rigour in me. It's like this whole year is such a fluke and I haven't achieved anything at all this year. I hate the way I am now, how I don't perserve anymore, how I just give up on myself, how I let myself loose, how I take things the easy way out and most of all, I hate how I hate everything now, but I'm not doing anything about it.

I may tell people alot of things about me, big and small, random or essential, stupid or important. But it doesn't mean I tell everyone everything about my life that's happening. And it's these things that hurt the most. I'm not someone who can keep things about myself to people I love, but circumstances force me to and sometimes it gets suffocating.

Yesterday Andrea and I had a very deep conversation, a conversation that got me thinking about my life and the state I'm in now. She asked me what was my worst grade for O levels, and after pondering, I said B3. And she asked me why am I giving up on Melbourne Univeristy, I'm someone who can do well in things I don't like just as long as I work hard of it. I'm not one of those who once I hated something, I wouldn't touch it at all, so why am I not putting in effort to study. She said alot of other things that I thought of before, but it's just different when someone speaks it into your heart, your mind, it's just that much more impactful, hurts that much more, and gets you think that much longer and deeper. It hurt of course, but that's what kept me going.

So, thank you Andrea. When I didn't speak to you when you were talking or after you were done talking, it wasn't because I was angry with you but because I was thinking. When I cried, yes it was because it hurt but for all the right reasons and at the right spots. So, thank you. <3

Yesterday I was reminded of what Andrea said to me about 1 week ago. She reminded me that I'm only 17 and I don't have to carry unnecessary burdens and just have to focus on what's important now at my age and enjoy what's meant to be enjoyed at this teenage age of mine and not to fret over things that are too mature, too heavy, too suffocating for me. And when she told me that, I totally didn't understand why she suddenly told me that, it totally didn't click with what I was going through then and I was left confused. But I always knew that it must mean something cos she suddenly told me that after I was done praying before I sleep. And when she told me it, I started crying even though I didn't know what it meant. And I think yesterday, it finally clicked.

This time when I go back, I want to stregnthen my ties with my family, spend all my time with them. This trip back is short, real short, shortest ever, and I wanna spend every moment with them. I want to stay at home and cook for my mother and just chillax with her in bed talking nonsense and important stuff. I want to go out with both my brother and my mother for lunch. I want to watch heroes marathon with my brother in his room again. I want to have a family dinner that's full of chatters and laughters each and everytime.

Only my brother knows of this trip that I'm making back home. My parents don't know anything. It's meant to be a surprise for them. And each time I think of ways to surprise them, I start crying and it hurts to know how much I miss them and I really want to take the next flight home to see them but I've got to wait till Tuesday. I never knew I miss them this much. And the only reason I could think of is that maybe I've stopped myself frm thinking of them this way cos I know how much it hurts and each and everytime it just brings tears to my eyes.

I miss my family alot, now I dare admit and I dare proclaim. And we've got lots of talking to do.

Andrea sorry for leaving you alone again. I forgot that Joseph's dad was coming over next week. I'm sorry Andrea, I only thought of myself and how much I wanted and needed to go home. Sorry Andrea.

And Lim Debbie, don't scream when you see this cos I DID try to call you to tell you I'm going back but you weren't at home. I called your home today on Saturday, 11.30am SG time ok. One of your brothers said you weren't home. I think it was Sylvester cos he sounded sooooo much like you that when he said hello, I was like DEBBIE! then he sounded so confused :S zzz.

Alright, goodbye. Off to shower and get ready for the event tonight. Andrea, sorry for troubling you to go home so rush to get my receipt for me! Thank youu!

Today is a very emotional day.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Omgg Nurul M's comment was soo funny, it had me laughing for, least to say, 1 minute. HAHHAHAHA!

Last night I called my brother at like 12.30am which is 10.30pm singapore time. My only intention was to ask him about the courses for uni that i should choose. Cos I realised that in UNSW and Sydney Uni there's Comm Law as a double degree and there's specific degrees like bachelor of economics and stuff like that. And for every uni I have 3 choices of preference for my courses.

Woah, my brother gave me some really deep advice and some advice that even woke me up to what I really wanted and some really true advice that might hurt coming from others but not your own brother. Sure, my brother is 26 years old but he doesn't talk nor act like one to me (or in fact maybe everybody ahhahaha) so last night it was really shocking for me to hear such a deep side of him.

Sidetrack: Omg I just ate my steam fish marinated with lemon juice, grated ginger and soya sauce WAH DAMN NICE :D healthy, oil free, fat free, filling. :D

Sidetrack number 2: OMG MY HOUSEMATE IS SO SWEET! Course for our university application, aside from applying online, we have to hand in 2 forms to our school. One to declare that we've applied to University of Melbourne and another to tell the school what other universities and courses we have chosen so that they can release our results to the universities. AND, as you know, lazy me still havent take the forms from school yet even though I go to that building like twice a week and the forms have been there since months ago. And I have to hand in the forms one 6 October which is when school reopen. So last night I asked my housemate what the forms were and she showed me then she ask me "you never see before?" and im like "uh huh...."

THEN! This morning, when I woke up (at 12.45pm) I saw paper on the floor when I opened my door. AND IT WAS THE TWO FORMS FOR THE UNIVERSITY APPLICATION!! SO SWEET RIGHT!!! She must have went out in the morning to buy her lit text and went to that building to get me my forms. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN SWEEET :) sigh, it's such a chore living with lazy and messy people like me. Sometimes I wonder how she can stand me. It's like so sweet lah! AWWWWWWW.

Ok back to main point.

Yeah, and last night my brother and I talked for like 2 hours and he told me about his days here in australia, school, university, life, friends, people and lots of stuff that really opened my eyes to his life now, and the life he led. Cos I'm not that close to my brother, like we don't talk alot. Like this is most possibly the third time I call him since I'm here? And also the longest? The past lasted about 30mins or so only.

Yeah, and he just kept on talking and talkin and he was really funny too! Cos I was telling him I dont wanna go Monash cos I see my friends there stress like siao, and like so no life and everyday study like mad. Then he was like "Yah, and they're the sort of people who gets at least credits or even higher distinctions lah!" then i was like "noo, she still will scared she fail one lor!" then he laughed like mad and say "WLAU THAT'S WHAT ALL GIRLS SAY! everytime come out of the exam always say sure fail sure fail, then in the end all the girls top the class!" HAHAHHAHAHHAHA WHICH IS SO DAMN HILARIOUS.

then we started talking about lecturers. then he started talking about those people who you know, always raise their hands to volunteer to read, or ask questions when the lecturer say "any questions?" and always damn enthu in class. then he aft that he was like "err. but if you wanna become one of them, its ok lah you know......" then i was like "NO WAY MAN! even if i wanna schmoozy with the lecturer i also do it after class lah. after class then privately find the lecturer and ask questions" then he laughed and say "hahahhaha yah thats the way man! like this people wont think you have no life and your fellow students won't hate you." HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA SO FUNNY OMGGGG. ahhahahah!

and he talked about how he fluked through some parts of his university life. He told me there was this once he and his group of ang moh friends wwent to buy those supermarket trolleys and stuff it with newspaper and drenched the whole thing with kerosene and set it on fire and pushed it down the road and had a whole good laugh about it. SRSLY MAN. omg. lol.

my kor is actually really funny i realised last night. He made me laugh like mad with the things he say and how he say it. hahahaha!

yah then i complain to him about my weight gain. and he was like "woah, thats rly alot. maybe you shd cut down to XXkg" then i was like "huh! but last time when i was XXkg you say i was too fat and need to cut down by Ykg!" then he was like "yah i know, i only said that to make you feel better." HAHAHHAHAHHA OMGGGGG. that's my awesomest brother. :D

and he told me his secret to losing over 20kg without exercising. (NOT THAT I GAINED 20KG) but yeah. and he totally psychoed my mindset into the "waste money, dont waste fats" mode. And he told me some things in the gym that I should take note of to ensure that i burn fats and not build muscles. MMMMM :D

Yah and he ah, damn alot of shortcuts to lots of things lah. earning money, cutting study time, getting driver's lisence. WLAU DAMN ALOT OF SHORTCUTS. HAHAHAHA AND HIS TECHNIQUE TO SCORING DISTINCTIONS IN HIS EXAMS IS POWERRRRRR. lolol wth.

I miss my brother alot!

Oh and my mother say she revamped our house a little. And she did lots of changes to my room and i'm so excited to go home!!!

OHHH I MISS MY FAMILY :(
I WANNA GO BACK TO SINGAPOREEEEEEEEEEEE.
I MISS HOME ):

I rly have this impulse to go back home for like maybe 3 days and some spend rly good time with my family ):

OMFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!! I went to SQ's website to check the ticket price from melb to sg from next monday to next thursday. AND GUESS WHAT THE FREAKING PRICE IS.

in march when i went back i took SQ and it was 1.2k
in july when i wen back i took qantas and still had to transit, it was 2k. which is damn ex alr considering that i took a 5am flight to perth first and it was only qantas.

AND NOW YOU KNOW WHAT THE FREAKING PRICE IS!
ECONOMY CLASS:
$5601.37!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you know what the worst thing is?

BUSINESS CLASS IS ONLY

$4499.37!!!!!!!!!!

AND FIRST CLASS ONLY
$5773.27!!!!!!!

SINCE WHEN FIRST CLASS AND BUSINESS CLASS SO SIMILAR RATES!!!! ANND WHY IS BUSINESS CLASS SO CHEAP! as in compared to the other two.

but qantas only 1.5k!! must be qantas nobody dare to sit already cos crash 3 times in a matter of months. so how, shd i take 1.5k and risk my life, or near 5k for business. of course, i rly wna take business but 5000 is hell lots of money you know. :(

maybe i shdnt go back.

God, what do you want me to do?

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hello! Yes, i've finished washing the bird shit out of my hair. But, a part of me is still paranoid that some are still left even though I've washed my hair twice. But you know when I was showering, I was thinking "Aye.. what if i havent rinse off all the shit yet? Wont what's left be twirling around my whole head now in this shampoo?!" Ok but i quickly pushed that thought away hahaha!

PS. this is gonna be a real wordy + image heavy post. You gotta have lots of time on your hands to read this. hahaha.

So, lets start with HOW this trip came about.

We (Joseph, Andrea, Davin and I) were nonsense-ing about as usual on Sunday talking about how awesome it'd be if we could go overseas this holiday. Our destinations ranged from the suburbs here in Melb, to around the world in 11 days. Yes, and everything in between. It was funny like shitxz. Then we went Big W later on and Andrea said "How nice would it be if 4 of us could go on a holiday together" And so this dream started to be realised.

We were all about to start studying at Davin's but couldnt get off the topic of going on a holiday tghtr so Andrea and I decided to go to the nearby travel agency to enquire whilst getting dinner for the boys. We all really wanted to go Gold Coast but due to time constraints as Davin had to catch a midnight flight back to Singapore on friday, so there wasn't really much choices left.

It was down to Mt. Buller (skiing) and Great Ocean Road (lots of rocks and sea) Therefore, we settled this our very own traditional way.

Dai Di.

Joseph won that round so we went to Great Ocean Road. ;)

To cut a long story short, lets fast forward to this morning.

Joseph, Andrea and I slept over at Davin's cos we had to reach the meeting point at 7am so we decided to sleepover together, even though joseph was super reluctant.

oh hahahahah smth super funny before we slept:

andrea started "seducing" me in bed and i was trying to sleep (hahaha) so in a moment or rashness i said "stop seducing me lah joseph!" hahhahahhaha and we all burst out laughing cos i said joseph instead of andrea and i was like "omg omg sorry joseph, i meant to say andrea!" then davin was like "doreen must be thinking "oh no jospeh is gg to rape me. joseph is gg to rape me." thats why she said that!" hahahahha damn hilarious lah.

throughout the night, all i can say is that it wasnt a sound sleep.

THEN, suddenly, andrea shouted "WAKE UP! 6.30 ALREADY!" WOAHHHH! All of us jumped up and quickly chiong like mad! hahahaha! in the end we reached the meeting point in time. then cos we were the first to board the bus so i was like "wah! we wake up so late still so first sia!" only to realise, we were the only ones meeting at that particular meeting point... HAHAHHAHA.

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Joseph and I in the bus.

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First attraction

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Don't know when I took this also, I think I accidentally press the shutter while making some alteration to my camera settings hahaha!

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Ohh hahahha at this attraction, we all wanted to go to the toilet. Then we thought there was only one entrance to the toilet so i was like "oh unisex ah this toilet" then walk in abit "oh got urinal..." then we realised that "OH NO ITS MALE TOILET" hahahhaa cos unisex toilet no urinal mah right. Then as andrea and i walked out, a man walked in and looked at us weirdly HAHAHHA. then i was like asking andrea "how would we know what sex the toilet is for?!" then andrea said "err.. maybe from the mural paintings on the wall?" then i observed the paintings veryvery closely but still cldnt figure out what is what.

Then when andrea and I were washing our hands, we heard davin and joseph outside laughing damn loudly. So we went out and was like "wlau can hear you from inside lah!" then davin pointed up and we saw the sign "FEMALE" and wah felt so stupid can! then davin was like "angmohs all very tall so they put the sign all very high. no wonder we cannot see." hahahah!

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Second attraction, lighthouse.

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Then we drove on and finally reached the start of Great Ocean Road so of course had to commenmorate this moment right!

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Me attempting jump shot but ended up looking retarded.

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Had mega fun!

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Hahhahahaa taking this was hilarious!

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Then we made davin jump with joseph but davin DIE ALSO DONT WANT. Therefore..
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Hahahha everyone was staring at us i think hahahah! But I had loadsa fun!

During break, Joseph had nothing better to do cos we didnt play dai di.

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Then we moved on to see koala bears and feed birds.

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Fat and lazy.

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Omg when the birds first landed on me I screamed like siao! I didnt expect at all lah! So manyyyy birds! And they'll fight to stand on your hand to eat the food. Woahh then land on your head, shoulder, hands EVERYWHERE!

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See what I told you about many.

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Aye aye captain. Hahhaha! There was this once I think a parrot clung on super tightly to joseph that he scream in pain and literally use his hands and grab the bird by its body and flung it off him. SO MEAN RIGHT. hahahhaa ok i was exaggarating, but it looked quite pain for the bird though.

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Andrea just HAD TO zoom to capture my freaked out face.

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This bird stayed exceptionally long on my hand to eat.

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Then suddenly there was this frenzy of birds that flew on top of my head and shoulders and i was screaming at the birds "DONT SHIT ON ME DONT SHIT ON ME!" and guess what, during lunch time, when i went to the toilet and saw that my hair was super messy, i decided to remake it. Then i touch my hair, eh? why clumpy clumpy hard hard one? So I thought my hairclip slid down. So I pulled it out (with my hands) and there was this mash of brown shit on my hand. SUPER FREAKED OUT LAH K. then i pull my back hair to the front and see, WAH SIA LAH, DAMN ALOT LAH K! So I took tissue and try too get rid of it.

Then Davin outside shouted "wah doreen you damn long lah" and i said "GOT BIRD SHIT ON MY HEAD!" then he laughed and said "LOL! Want me go ask andrea to come and help you or not?" then i damn pek chek alr lah so i said "aiyah whatever lah. Damn hungry now, go eat first, later come back then make" HAHAHAHHA YES, FOOD IS ALWAYS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCCE.

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This picture looks sooooooooooooooo wrong.

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So thank you andrea for helping me get rid of the bird shit off my hair! :D :D :D apparently she's very experienced in this cos all her friends always kena bird shit one. hahahha!

Then after lunch we went for a rainforest walk whereby joseph kept scaring andrea with snakes, spiders and all that stuff. HAHAHHAHA hilarious. Andrea was super freaked out k hahaha!

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By the end of the walk we all felt super unfit. HAHAHHA! But consoled ourselves by saying that we're not in the right gear. HAHAHAH!

After that we headed off to the MAIN ATTRACTION of the day. And guess what.. When I reached the place,

I REALISED I LEFT MY CAMERA ON THE BUS. Must have fallen out when i was asleep along the winding rocky roads. Tskk I was so sad. Lucky Andrea lend me her camera! :D

Introducing to you..

THE TWELVE APOSTLES!

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Yes, I can camwhore without my own camera too!

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Our Signature.

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Davin always so reluctant and unhappy to take picture with me one.

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Then Joseph and I split from Andrea and Davin for awhile cos...

JOSEPH AND I WENT TO TAKE THE HELICOPTER TO GET AN AERIAL VIEW OF THE 12 APOSTLES! wooo :D 70bucks.

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I couldnt get much good a view cos I was seated in the middle :(

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Happy Us :D

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Joseph loves his mike

Joseph had much better a view in pictures than me cos he sat at the side. Woah I had abit of motion sickness in the helicopter esp during takeoff. hahahaha but quite fun! must try! :D

Then we met them back at the Lock Arch Gauge. (or something) WOO DAMN NICE! the sand super soft! but andrea say cannot walk barefooted cos might have sharp stuff :( but soooo hard to walk in the sand lah!!

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So pretty right!

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HAHAHAHA SO MANY!

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Make a story.

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From their view when both of them were up there!

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Also, through this, we found how unfit we were as our legs were aching like siaooo after we trampled through the thick sand and climbed up the never ending stairs ahhahaha!

Last stop! London bridge!

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Apparently the story is, the bridge is a nature formed bridge which connects one apostle to another. And one day, two lovers were on the other side of the rock when the bridge suddenly collapsed (maybe after millions of years of corrosion) then of course they couldnt jump down and swim to shore even though they were rly near it cos it was a really rocky area. So they had to call for rescue and it took the helicopters 3h to arrive and they were on the news and stuff. And the huge thing is, the two of them are lovers both cheating on their partners! Hahhaa what a way to get caught for adultery! All over the press! ahhahah!

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look at the waves! THEY WERE HUGE!

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And, group shots!

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And lastly, same view with different effects.

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Thats the end of the photo fiesta! :D Hope it didnt make your comp laggy! hahaha cos that was helluva pictures! :D I had tons of fun today! :D It was great view with awesome friends! Lots of good laughs and chillax time. So worth the $95! :D Thank you Andrea for coming with us even though you've come before! LOVE!

I enjoyed myself thoroughly! Hahhaha lots of inside jokes hahahha! :D :D :D

**

I can't wait for the promoting of planetshaker's tenFifteen event! woohoo! cos apparently the melb uni commerce ppl are having their ball at this hotel so we're gonna stand outside the hotel and promote our event and hopefully sell lots of tickets! Woo! :D Then saturday bbq to promote the event again! Then FitnessFirst with laksa and joseph! :D

Ok 3.50am, dont feel like sleeping. But I got to.

I realise I blog lesser in terms of words when its image heavy. Not good.

Don't play with fire.