And here I am sitting thinking, if things were to change, it would have long ago. Why after so many events that happened, now? I'm beginning to truly realise how much these few months have been revolving around this one person, how so much of my time is just circling and circling around this one person. What happened? Did you realise something? Did something happen? When everything that should have been discussed has already been talked about, what do you say? Maybe I've let you in too much and too soon, and maybe it scares you as much as it scares me. As we take baby steps apart, I hope there won't come a day where I would lose sight of you. You've been a very good friend. I hope this awkward phase would pass soon. It kind of sucks, and kind of makes me feel sad. I wonder if you even feel anything, whether you've even tried picking up the phone or if you have even given a thought about it. And if you did, why didn't you press the buttons?

Was trying to get along my day, pretending like I didn't feel all weird in the inside, pretending it's all ok. When I came home, I had dinner, I watched shows, then I listened to Casting Crowns.. And it started cracking. Then I opened my bible and it flipped to Matthew 7:34 - So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring his own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

It's the parable about Jesus teaching about worries. And so, I started giving thanks to what happened today. That the tram and train and bus all came as I reached the stop or station, that I woke up, that I didnt burn andrea's house down, that I went for my macro tut. And I came to realise, focusing on the goodness of God , to focus on what his strength can do than what my inability can't do, is a far lighter yoke.

Yes, of course I still think about what's happening or going to happen to us, ok not us, just you and i. But it isn't with that much of a heaviness or gloominess. I still have trouble submitting completely to this other person, but at least now my heart's happier to try.

Psalms 42:5
Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise Him again-
my Saviour and my God!

God, what's your plan?