ROAARRRR.

So irritating lah. I've got this presentation that's only worth 2% of my total mark and it's taking up sooooo much of my time. This is like the first time I've ever read up on so much finance things in my entire life. Yah, my question is like "Will the world be a better place to live in in 50 years time? Discuss the appropriacy of banking poicies in relation to offering loans (perhaps in light of the prime mortgage crisis)" Uh huhhhh, and soo much readings to do. But luckily we had 5 questions to choose from cos the rest are about trade, taxation, marketing and business monopolies. So thang goodness I knew I had some sort of interest in banking so it doesn't make this question so torturous anymore. In fact, I actually find the readings very interesting cos it's very current like only a few days ago it was being published in Yahoo! Finance and CNNMoney only. And it also had quite abit of reports on The Economist and Newsweek, so good for me. Readings are interesting and abundant to choose from. STILLL! It's taking up so much of my time. Like last night, I couldnt go to the 3-in-1 birthday celebration of my urbanlife members, Roy, Joy and Sojin cos I had to research on my presentation :( :( :( Not only so, laksa abi and andrea were also psycho-ing me to go shopping + dinner with them. SO SAD LAH. My friday night spent at home reading, how no life ok.

Now on a beautiful saturday, I'm STILL reading.

OH OH OH! Much much much thanks to jason for helping me out with my presentation by teaching me so much stuff on banking! :D and telling me whats the whole deal on mortgage crisis! THANKS! Hahaha I so touched you know cos there was this event at night and he and i were talking, and i casually complaint (again) to him about this stupid presentation and i told him my question and he was like "quite easy lah, i tell you abit lah." then he went on and on about what banking policy was, what trading does, what monopolies do, the advantages and disadvantages and I'm like WOAAHHHHH!!!!!!! So impressed ok. Hahahha then I asked him if he could teach me the next day and he agreed without hesitation! Wah damn nice ok!

then then then the next day i was abit apprehensive that he might back out or smth, or like he only agreed out of a 3 minute hype thing, so i smsed him to reconfirm and he was like "yeah of course!" THENNNN, ok this is the most amazing part. We met in the cafe right, then when he walked in, he was carrying his laptop, then i was like "i thought you say you no school today??" then.. he opened his laptop and opened this file named "for doreen's eap" (eap is my subject name)

OMGGG SO TOUCHED LAH!!! ONE NIGHT, HE WENT BACK AND DUG THROUGH HIS YEAR 1 MATERIAL TO COMPILE INTO A FILE FOR ME!!! SO TOUCHED OK :D :D :D and there i was still suspecting if he'll still agree to teach me or not.. omggg i felt so bad ok.

apparently i found out that he's acutally so damn smart ok. He got A A B for his A levels and got an offer letter from London School of Economics! LSE YOU KNOW!!! LSE!!!!!!!! OMGGG YOU KNOW HOW GOOD IS LSE!!! EVEN BETTER THAN MELBOURNE UNI IN TERMS OF COMMERCE!! but he had to turned down due to some family stuff. I felt so sad for him aiyoooooooooooooo :(

Yah, anyway I'm so touched lah hahahha :D cos he's in year 2 semester 2 alr, and he had to source through his files and lectures and tutorial notes for me omg. smmre he even specified which slide number, which question number i should read cos there were aloot of others in one file and the others were irrelevant.

HAHAHHA THANKS SO MUCH!!! :D

happy things aside, die, got a 30% worth of essay to write. And soooo much readings to do agaaaain. LAKSA, thank you so much for you help for lending me your sources! Major help woman, thank you so so so so so much!!! :D

and i had nightmare two nights ago lah :( I dreamt that i was drowning, TWICE! like i dream finish alr, then awhile later i dream of it again! So scary.

the first dream was like i was with my mom at the beach then when i jump down the sea, then i looked at my mom, then i realised that i can only jump down but i had nowhere to come up from, then this wave of desolation and helplessness flood me and i started drowning. then awhile later, i dreamt that i was at the seabed, and i was trying my hardest to swim up to the surface, and as i escalated up, i felt like my lungs were bursting, i needed oxygen so bad, so bad, then as i nearly reached the surface, my lungs couldnt take it anymore and i stopped swimming up.

SO SCARY OK, i think i really held my breath in real life! omgg.

ok.. i need to go back to reading my mortgage crisis alr, byebyeee :(

Oh, sidenote, omgggg, if not for fact that my period just came, i would have thought that im having a baby growing in me ok!!! MY TUMMY IS SO HUGE NOW I CANT SEE MY TOES! HAHAHHAHA OMG. ok exaggaration, but still.. i need to fast.

ah ha ha, easier said than done.

Because I wanna feel Your love like never before.
Because I wanna feel Your touch so strongly.
Because I wanna hear Your voice so clearly.
Because I wanna see You so vividly.
Right in front of me.

How long will this wait be?
I need a sign, a confirmation.
To keep me going,
To sustain this life that's so battered.