Wah crap.

I'm like -

4 maths 1 tutorials behind time
3 math 2 tutorials behind time
and havent done any accounting tuts except for 2 for this entire year

ha ha ha. ok i hope to at least finish one math 1 tut and one math 2 tut by today? cant make up my mind whether to go gloria jeans or starbucks to do my work cos i know staying at home's gonna make me.. not study? hmm or should i just stay home? AIYA SHIT SHIT HOW. but i need to go to the supermarket to get cooking oil and flour.

OMG SPEAKING OF COOKING OIL YOU KNOW WHAT.

shit man. last night i deep-fried my chicken. OMG THE MOMENT I POUR IN THE OIL INTO THE POT I FELT SO GROSSED OUT ALR LAH. THE AMOUNT OF OIL USED WAS SOOOO ASTRONOMICAL THAT ITS SO DISGUSTING. i think the amount of oil i used could have lasted me for at least a month lah. its just damn disgusting. then you see the chicken swirling inside the oil even more disgusting can. after eating i felt so nauseous cos i cldnt get rid of the oil smell and it was so disgusting. omg. i drank like one huge cup of tea but it sitll didnt rid me of the smell. eew omg.

hmm maybe i should just stay home to do my work. but i need to buy quite a bit of stuff from supermarket. aiya how lah.

And I'm really happy for you. Though I don't know what kind of twists and turns there were to make things result this way but I'm happy for you, maybe things have changed between you guys. There's so much I wanna ask you and talk to you about but it would seem weird if I did. I just hope that you're really happy now.

Shit I should really start doing my work now. I think I should tackle my easier stuff first. hehehhe.

oh shit i just rmbrd i need to edit my accounting essay. gahhboo. and hoi too. daaaaaaaaaaaah.

What if I can't get into uni melb?

Omg it's 2am now and im not sleeping yet. why do i have a feeling i'll be too shag to wake up tmr at 8am. noooo i cant pon my math tut again. i've ponned it like twice in a row alr. hahahah die liao lah. doreen neo, you must go for your math tut tmr.

haiya, and i don't understand lah. don't understand so much things thats happening now. omg.

Hey debbie lim, don't know if you'll ever get to read this like EVER but still.. thanks for the phonecall just now. thanks for the huge wake up call. as much as it hurt, as much as it made me cry, but it was a good awakening that i should 'get a life' as according to you. hahhaaha :D thanks for always reminding me things that i forget on purpose, thanks for reminding me what im throwing myself into, sorry for always disappointing you at decision i make at the most crucial moments, thanks for always hollering at me then say those soothing words later, thank you for saying the sweetest things, and thank you for being so unreasonable for demanding that i stop my education here and go back and do poly and that "you'll gladly come to poly with me". hurhurhur. thanks for always making me feel so loved after every precious phone calls. thanks for always saying all those sweet stuff and heartwarming words. there's no one like you. :)


Hmmm omg im having a splitting headache now. i need sleep. :( its cold tonight.

OH MY GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS!!!! I'VE FINALLY FINISHED MY HOI ESSAY!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOODNESS!!! AND ITS 1295 WORDS :D which means im not over the word limit, cos the limit is 1200 words but my word count includes all my reference and citations so this means that..... I DO NOT NEED TO SQUEEZE MY BRAIN JUICE OUT TRYING TO REDUCE MY WORD COUNT!! WOOOOOOOHOOO!!! OMG OMG OMG :D omg at first when i first started reading all the research i was like "ohmygoodness.. how to write 1200 words on this shit, there's no information at all?!" but now that i've finished, im actually quite damn satisfied on what i've written! :D :D yaaaaay.

it's 5.03am now and im a really happy girl :D (i didnt use the whole day to do this whole essay lah, i started at like 1am? hahahha) omg i actually sat down for 4hours straight doing my essay! wow, how long has it been since i really sat down for 4hours straight without getting distracted to do schoolwork. wooooo im damn happy now :D I know the Lord has been with me throughout my whole 4hours, i know. :) cos as i was doing my essay, i felt happy and relaxed and not worried at all and ideas just kept pouring into me and everything just seemed so perfect and falling into place. i'm so happy. ^^ This must be God's way of "making it up to me" for all the tears I cried just now. His way of making his daughter really happy after a really saddening day. ^^ Like how a dad brings his daughter out for ice cream after she had a bad day. :D :D

hahahaha im just so happy now i cant sleep. idk why also, im not tired or anything at all. :D ouch, i just rmbrd that i got quite a handful of lit questions to do. oh well, nothing can ruin my mood now. i rly must thank all the worship songs that kept me sane (look bezner, i spelt it right this time) all the 4hours.

heehee means next week all i have to do is to do some minor editing on both my accounting and HOI essay after the teacher has read our drafts. (essay draft for accounting and two paragraphs for HOI) so yay, now i've got time to start catching up on all my tutorials that i've been lagging behind and maybe start understanding my monologue excerpt. :S i can't believe i acty chose something i dont understand. hahahha die.

haha now i just have to do up my bibliography for my HOI essay then I can put it aside in my brain and wait till friday after my tutor has read it. WOO, byebye HOI, you wont be on my mind for the next 5 days! :D

oh! did i mention (no i think i didnt) that bez and i webcammed last week! HAHHAHAHA ITS DAMN HILARIOUS I SWEAR. i never laughed so hard for so long. hahahha i swear even though we were merely webcamming (as in not video call, just able to see each other only) but it was still so damn freaking hilarious. hahahah! hahaha which makes me miss him writing random stuff on rando things and sleeping in class. hahahaha oh i miss sitting with zac and bez! ahahhahha. but anw, webcamming with bez was hilarious. us trying to show each other each other's room, me "giving" him my hairband, him spying on me, taking weird picture of me and all sorts of funny shit. omgggg. sorry bez! doubt i can go online this weekend :( stuff to do :( but i miss webcamming with you though! it was hilarious. :D :D

omg i know that i got a whole stack of research to read by tonight and to do up a plan by tonight but i rly gotta say this man.

omg my school had an "autumn music festival" and it was WOOPEE AWESOME. the first few were pretty good, definitely way above average then came jena's band. omg her violin is super good, cos i heard from others that she has a diploma in it. OMG DAMN GOOD LAH. it just added so much flavour to the song and the crowd was just crazy.

then jeffrey came along with his solo electric guitar. woooo i never see somebody's hand move so fast before. hahhaha he's damn good. haha! then after he finished and was prepared to leave the stage right, then suddenly the teacher came up to him and said sth to him then he spoke into the mike "err im asked to tell you guys about my singapore background. im the 4th fastest guitar player in singapore and ..." but you know whats the worst part, alot of people didnt hear the "im asked to tell you guys" so it looked as if he's damn show off but actually he isnt. so poor thing right. haha!

omg the highlight of the night was actually the 3 korean guys. OMGGGGGGGGG THEY GOT THE WHOLE CROWD WILD!! every time they switch from one guy to another to sing, the whole crowd will scream like crazy i tell you, omggg!! and ALL OF THEM SING SO DAMN GOOD. i think in korea, you don't have to be rain or whoeever to be able to sing well lah. omg i think every korean can sing man! my church friends sojin and katherine can sing super well too! OMG. hahaha only when abi told me her theory that every korean can sing that i realised. lol. but srsly, they sing damn good. omg my heart melted lah, then i told abi "omg im in love already." then she was like "yah yah me too" hahahha omg lah. srsly they sing daaaaaaaaaaamn good. and they looked sooo cute. hahhahaha. and one of them is in one of my tutorials. WOOHOO. :D:D:D wah srsly lah, i heard aft the concert, so many girls pulled them aside to take pictures with them like superstars like that lah. so shiok right. hhahahah! but omg im in awe lah!

and the last band was good too. they sang boston and omg the vocalist sounded exactly like the original and the pianist was sooo goood. and i tell you omg the drummers of all the bands all damn cute lah, damn funny hahahahha! some people ah, really cannot see from their face that they can sing sooooo well. omg srsly, cannot judge a book by its cover.

hahaha im still melting from the korean guys singing. :P

so anw, that autumn music thing was defo waay better than those concerts we have in mf. hahahhaha :P

ok i ponned my history of ideas lecture today. so that i can come home and sleep so that i would have lots of energy for tonight to read all my stupid research that i bet would be damn boring. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. k i should shower now and go sleep till... 7? 6? oh 6.30, cos 7 got two and a half man :D OH NO ITS 4.45 ALR! shit its so dark now. oh and the weather these days damn shiok, not too cold :D damn shiok. :D

ok busy weekend. got accounting essay, hoi essay and 2 EAP assignments. shit.

i'm really pressed for time now but i really got to say this.

oh man debbie called me last last night and we had an awesome talk even though it only lasted for an hour. it was so emotional, both of us pouring our guts out to each other. she crying whilst telling me her problems and me crying while listening to it cos it breaks my heart to hear her cry, and her crying whilst listening to me cry while i spill my problems to her. it feels soo soo good to finally be able to pour my heart out, feels so good to know that i've got her, what comes may. i miss having a best friend, i miss having someone that i can stick with the whole bloody day and quarrel, laugh and do stupid things together with. i miss her so much, it breaks my heart. its just so good to talk to her again, it's more than just a talk, it's like a healing process for my heart and mind. it's so good, i love her so much. i hope things could be better for the both of us, this year's gonna be really tough. sigh. but i'm just so happy that although this distance between us have made things harder, but i'm so happy and proud that our friendship grew so much stronger because of this. ah, it's times like that now that i wished i never came to australia. sighh.

i miss my mayflower days. those days i knew when could walk around the whole building and smile at people i barely even know but only my face whereas now its so cold here, there's too much people and everthing's just so "skimming at the surface". i miss those days when everyone knew everyone and how we'd smile and say hi and feel all happy. i miss having a whole class together, days when the whole class laughed together and everything's just so familiar.

MMMM! you know what i'm thinking.

i should hold a birthday party and invite the whole 4E! (or at least those that i have their msn contacts) because i miss 4E so much. so it could be like a get-together as well! then we could ask miss yeo as well!!! :D :D oh shit i need to go go to class now damnit bye!

that last long post of helloX100000 wasnt from me. davin santa "hacked" into my blogger account and wrote that entry for me. please i not so lame and don have that much time ok. everydya i feel like i dont have time and energy for anything and thats just stupid because i dont get anything done at all. i hate the way i have no time for schoolwork at all because i spend too bloody much time cooking and washing the dishes that after doing everything im just so lethargic that im totally exhausted. and im falling so behind my school work that i havent been online for weeks but thrs still nothing done to it. omg i must start priortising or drawing up a timetable soon. so many essays due, exams soon and im like lagging behind 2 tutorials for each subject. what the hell is wrong with me, i better get my act together. im sorry people that i havent been blogging, haven't been replying emails, i'm just so tired everyday to come online. i even forget what date it is everyday and waking up is such a chore. and i don't know whats wrong because im always so tired but in reality, nothing is done. omg im so unproductive.

i should stop complaining.

anyway, I HAD AN AWESOME CHURCH CAMP. it was life-changing, for real. hahahha and for some major parts of the camp, i'd think of samuel and wld go like "oooh must tell samuel thisthisthis happened" hahahhahahha. idk why lah. anyway, it was just so amazing. like now i know i'm never alone, that there's always someone to fall back on, that my troubles would always be heard because sometimes.. a phone call could be too far away as well... so yeah anw, camp was amazing, i feel so full of faith now and i cld rly feel that camp was just the beginning of an amazing journey. mmmmmm.. :D more about that next time if i have time.

anw im damn sleepy now. i must go sleep. i got my most dreaded class tmr first thing in the morning. come on people, say "disgusting" with me. mm yeah, thats it.

anyway, its FREEEEEEEEEEEZING here now. its lke 7 degrees in the morning and like 9 degrees at night and like 13 degrees in the afternoon. omgggggggg. my hands are freezing while typing this.

anw this entry is to clarify that im alive. and that stupid frigging post was not by me but by some brainless idiot who got nothing better to do so he decided to press "o" for like 5mins on the keyboard. uh huh.

anw yeah, im half dead. bye.

im faced with this huge dilemma and i don't know what to do. :(
so should i,
or should i not.

I need you
More than words can say.
I need you
More and more each day.

Help me.

there's so much piling up now that i don't know anymore where to start from.